Appreciation and achievement

Dreams are wonderful. Dream big! But I also think that it is important to hold in and appreciate what you’ve achieved so far.

I don’t like to always reach for the next higher goal or next challenge. What for, if you won’t take the time to enjoy your success?!

In my life, I feel like I achieved so so many things that I used to strive for. A stable relationship, a job that I like, friends that I enjoy having around me…

And for so long, I was dreaming of owning a farm with chicken and many other animals. And here it is! For almost one year I live my dream now. I actually live on a farm. It’s crazy! And outstanding!

It fills me with pride and sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not all just luck. I worked towards this. I made decisions and changes that made it possible for this to happen.

In 2015 I changed my life drastically by quitting a very good job, selling all my furniture and getting rid of most of my stuff, to move to another country. Teaching myself both English and Swedish to communicate and work in my new environment.

Fighting through a period where I had no job after leaving a well-paid job. For about a year I was completely depend on my partner. It was extremely stressful and there were a few occasions where I was considering going back to Germany. Back to the things and people I was used to.

But I was too proud for that and could not imagine breaking up my relationship.

So I kept on fighting. Practicing my language skills and trying to get a social security number here in Sweden. Let me tell you: Without that, you can’t do anything here…

And after many trial and errors I got one and suddenly things just fell into place bit by bit. I found a job in an international school as Learning Support Assistant. At this point I was still very nervous about my language skills. I was 32 years old and for the first 30 years of my life I only spoke german. Like ONLY german. We dub everything!

And then I was about to teach in English. I was super nervous about this challenge. BUT: After 1,5 years I finally had a full-time job. And with that things started getting back to “normal”. Paying rent, being able to go out, etc…

Thinking back, I’m not sure that I appreciated this accomplishment enough. Instead, I would focus on all the things I would have to catch up with now. Being more efficient since I’ve been kind of “lazy” for so long, paying off depts and so on…

And after a while of working and living life, I got exhausted and wasn’t sure if “I do well enough”. Am I enough? Do I do enough? Am I developing? Where do I want to go?

I decided I want to be more present and more grateful for myself and my achievements. So I sat down and filled a little notebook with all the things I achieved and those I’m grateful for.

And it surprised me how long this list was. I always felt so chased and on the run and also simply just not “enough”. But what exactly I meant with that word that I used oh so often…I did not know. Who decides what enough is. Well now, I know that most of the time it is just me that should be the one judging that. And I had to learn to cut myself some slack.

I did good. I do what I can and I achieved so much and fought so hard.

So now when I’m in doubt, I like to look at my list and feel good about all the things I achieved, all the things I did, the things I still do and how far I’ve come.

And if you sometimes have these doubts as well, then be kind to yourself. You are enough! You are exceptional!

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